Is It Time For Change?
I was catching up with a friend the other day and they said something that prompted the advice part of me to come out in full swing (maybe half swing because I was tired 😅).
They said they were thinking it's time for a change (in this instance a pretty big one since they were referring to a job change) but the unknown of the other side is a little scary, essentially hindering them from going for it.
First of all, if you’re experiencing similar, that’s understandable and completely normal. But as a friend who LOVES to see people get out of their own way, shift out of their comfort zones, grow, and improve themselves, a reminder:
Our egos make the unknown seem scary. It's normal because the ego’s goal is to keep us safe, obviously they feel like they can’t with something so unpredictable. It’s a wonderful intention, but it’s usually part of what keeps people stuck in their comfort zones and they let it block them from achieving their full potential.
Think of any times you may have faced the unknown before—relationship changes, previous job changes whether involuntarily or voluntarily, moving, buying your first house or car, whatever the case may be. Were you okay? Did you survive? Maybe you even learned something from those experiences?
I’m thinking you must have ended up okay for you to be here reading this article now. So remind yourself of those times that it may have been a bit scary but you ended up okay after that, even at times when you thought you wouldn’t be (speaking personally 💀). Now I believe there’s a hierarchy to change but for the majority of that hierarchy, you’ll be okay now. Remind yourself you trust yourself, tell yourself you can do hard things if you need to.
I personally like to tell my ego to eff off sometimes (💀). I’ll also reassure myself that I’m safe, I’ll be okay, everything always works out blissfully for me, whatever else is relevant to the situation. You can say it out loud if you need more convincing but eventually it works to just say it in your head too. It sounds kind of whacky, or maybe corny, but as someone who has experienced A LOT of unknown in the last few years, it does work and helps. Taking some breaths with it also can help if it’s something more than a little scary. 🫶🏼🧡
Change is beautiful, mindset is critical so the same as reassuring yourself with the other stuff, you can start telling your brain other things that you want to become or implement even simple as “change is good,” or “change equals new, amazing opportunities.” Whatever or however works for you but I’m a big believer in words matter in a sense of how they will affect you so it’s best to make sure you’re always telling yourself something in a positive way.
Something a lot of people don’t seem to realize is how much words can have an effect over us, often times more than we care to admit. So the words we choose to use are critical and can help the process go smoother. especially with trying to make a change in our life, rewire our brains and mindset to stop fearing change, improve our habits, with business, or just life in general.
Now you might be wondering, how do I know if it’s time for me to make a change?
Think about the life you want to live. If money wasn’t a concern, if what your parents or friends thought about it didn’t matter, if you didn’t care about societal expectations. What would that dream life look like to you? What kind of job would you be working? What kind of town, city, or country would you be living in? What kind of house would you be living in? What would your daily life look like?
Now think about where you are right now.
The job you’re working in, the relationship you’re in, the habits you currently have. Do these things align with what you crave in your heart and soul? Be honest with yourself.
If you answered no, then that means it’s time to change something. I’m not suggesting to blow up your entire life, though sometimes that’s the only option (such as ending a relationship).
What is the most digestible step you can take right now. Searching for jobs more aligned with what you’re after and applying to them? Looking for a place of your own so you can break up with the person you live with? Researching what you need to learn or do in order to be qualified for your dream job? Researching how to move abroad, looking at places in the desired country or location to get an idea of the income needed, taking notes on these things.
Then the most critical thing is not to get caught up in the research stage. I’ve done this myself so I know. When we already fear change, our brains will use this as an excuse to continue the research process for much longer than necessary in order to procrastinate making a change and in turn keeping us safe. But we justify it by our brain telling us we are at least “doing something” towards making that change.
A good rule to follow for this is 40% (or less) research, 60% (or more) implementation and action. You learn something, apply it. Take a step to implement it into your life in whatever way makes sense for that thing.
Last important thing though—be nice to yourself! I know I preach this a lot, but it really is crucial. So many of us have been conditioned from childhood to be extra critical or hard on ourselves. This doesn’t help us in the long run, it makes us feel unsafe in our bodies, creating more resistance on the road to change and a brighter future.
Ignore anyone that says “if you aren’t hard or critical on yourself, you’ll just stay the same cause why change then.” People say this as an excuse to stay the same ironically, instead of facing all of themselves in a mirror.
Noticing improvement and growth within yourself becomes addicting in a good way. When you love yourself, you want the best for yourself, so you constantly strive to be the best version of you, for you.
Changing yourself takes conscious work, including how you respond to change you’re experiencing externally, and it’s normal if you slip back into an old habit or mindset belief. Just try to catch yourself doing it, notice when it happens, and get back on track. With time it gets easier and easier. You got this!
So much love,
Jordan 🧡
