May 18th, 2026

I'm thinking about this video that I had seen on TikTok where it's like “turning my sister's texts into a song using AI” and she's dating this guy, and he went into the store but left his phone in the car.

Long story summed up, some guy ends up calling and he’s saved under Mi Amor. They're sending dick pics back and forth. And she's just like, oh, I’m gonna be sick. This guy is gay and like how sick.

Maybe the cheating in general was making her sick but the texts were so heavy on the gay factor that it just kind of seemed homophobic.

Cheating is wrong, point blank. Period.

He might not even be gay. He could be bisexual, jumping to gay, is an interesting and kind of telling choice in my opinion.. 

And I get that there's nuance to this, because it's like, why would you even care to be considerate of this person's feelings? When, you know, he's betraying you? 

I've encouraged bisexuality in men because.. 

I mean, I ended up getting cheated on, and he was cheating on me with both men and women, but still, cheating regardless of the gender it’s with hurts.

I think a lot of men out there would actually end up being with men or dating men if they hadn't been conditioned by society or environmentally, that it's “wrong,” “taboo,” “disgusting,” “inferior,” or anything like that. 

And it's kind of sad when you think about it, because I think all of us can relate to some piece of us that society, or a family member, or someone we respected and looked up to made us feel as though it was unacceptable or unlovable. 

And I'm not excusing men cheating at all, just because they're cheating with other men. 

That's not what I'm saying. 

But it's like.. if we as a society stopped telling people that they automatically assume that being gay is feminine, and obviously with a patriarchy, feminine or femininity is the considered weak and needs to be controlled and oppressed and punished and obviously that's not really what it is. 

That's why there's a lot of gay men who also are misogynistic, but people make a lot of excuses for gay guys, simply just because they're not trying to rape women or something. So it seems like it's less of a threat, but it's just as detrimental to women and society as a whole. 

There's a video circulating right now—I had no idea who this was until yesterday (and still don’t really lol) — but this guy... E.J. Johnson or something like that. Apparently he is Magic Johnson’s son. 

I think Magic Johnson was a basketball player or something like that before my time.

He thinks he's competing with women for straight guys. And it's like, a lot of gays seem to have this mentality. 

They really want to go for straight men. 

I've been with guys who gay guys would be in their DMs, trying to get with them, trying to have sex with them, and like fawning over them. 

It’s very interesting. It seems to be a self worth thing. Like it stems from a lack of self worth I think. 

They’re trying to feel worthy or good about themselves by getting something that's deemed “unattainable.” 

But it turns out, his sister is adopted, and she's very much a fashionable, beautiful girl, beautiful woman, I should say she's older now. 

So it gives the impression that he hates his adopted sister and is in competition with her. 

The way he talks about it, at least from the clips I’ve seen, it makes me think that he wants to transition to a woman because it seems similar from what I’ve heard about that.

He doesn't want gay guys for relationships and they don’t want him, he wants straight guys, but he does say he'll fuck a gay guy, if he just wants to have sex, like, casual hookup and that kind of thing. 

I don't know, it's very interesting. This whole competition in general isn’t a great mindset, it seems very telling of lack of security and self worth within themselves. 

Like the only way they’ll feel good about themselves is being picked by someone who everyone wants versus acknowledging that those people simply aren’t for them and that someone else out there is. 

I think we would be seeing a lot less of this or experiencing a lot less of this if men were not taught that being gay, or bisexual, is “wrong,” when it's just natural human behavior. 

Sexuality is very much a spectrum, like many things that society tries to make black or white. 

It was very interesting to hear people growing up—I grew up around people who were very homophobic and or racist. 

The homophobia in religion didn’t make sense to my child brain because to me it just seemed natural, like contained by the love that the religious ideology was allegedly pushing. 

I didn't entirely understand the racism either and there was still some of that internalized as well that I've had to unpack over the years. 

But it was very interesting to hear some people say, it's a choice. “I accept their choice,” or “I don't know why they’re choosing that kind of lifestyle.” 

And reflecting on it as an adult, I'm realizing “oh my gosh, THEY made that choice.” That's why they perceive it as a choice. 

They chose to be “straight.” They chose to go the route of forcing themselves to be with a woman and can you imagine? That's awful. 

I can't imagine how unhealthy the dynamics in those relationships were and how miserable that person must be behind closed doors to choose to go against themselves. To abandon that part of themselves because they were made to feel it’s unacceptable.

And if they have children, I can't imagine that being a healthy environment for children to grow up in.

Children are so much more intelligent and aware than we give them credit for. They're more perceptible, I should say, than we give them credit for. 

They may not have words to understand whatever it is that's going on or the labels that we give things, but they can still sense the feeling and the energy or the lack of safety, the lack of love, the emotional neglect, those kinds of things in those dynamics. 

I do not have human kids, thankfully, and I do not want human kids, but I can't imagine wanting.. 

The reason that I don't want kids is because I've been working since I was single digits. I was parentified. I was managing my parents emotions, raising my parents, raising my siblings. I was also working “real” jobs, I was emotionally neglected, and I've also raised too many boyfriends, so I understand the emotional labor that's actually required in having children. And that's why I do not want to have human children. 

I lived for other people majority of my life thus far that I don't want to do that anymore. 

I want to finally be able to live for me, chase my goals, chase my dreams, and not have to worry about prioritizing a little human. 

And I don't want to potentially fuck them up. Granted from the last study I had read, if they're emotional needs are met, at least 50% of the time, then they're going to more than likely have a secure attachment when they're older and be emotionally well adjusted. 

But why would you want your child to be in those dynamics? 

Because I was parentified and had to grow up fast, I was frequently a part of adult conversations. 

"Well, I'm waiting until the kids are older” 

“I'm waiting until the kids are 18 to leave”

“I'm waiting until the youngest is in college to get a divorce” 

That kind of thing. 

There’s this misconception that a mom and dad staying together benefits the children over divorce. 

As if children aren’t aware of the misery that you're experiencing. 

And that doesn't benefit the children. 

You are modeling the dynamics that they will more than likely recreate in the future if they do not attend therapy to address it. 

Something I’ve asked a lot of people, because I was a child that grew up in unhealthy dynamics, is 

Would you want your child to be in that kind of relationship when they're older? 

Do you want your son or your daughter to be in the kind of relationship that you're in when they're an adult? 

If the answer is no—which every man and woman that I’ve asked has always answered no—then you shouldn't be waiting to leave. 

Because what you're doing is you're telling them that it's okay to tolerate less than they deserve. That being love is empty, their relationships are empty. Whatever the issues in the dynamics that you have in your relationship that are unrepairable or unimprovable for one party or the other, is okay.

This isn't that I want families to break up, I wanted nothing more as a child for my biological parents to be together with me as their kid. 

But everyone deserves unconditional love. Adults and children. But we are also accepting of the love that we think we deserve. 

And sometimes we instill what we think we deserve, that may be less than, into our children. 

A lot of people are in situations or relationships that they're being treated terribly, but because they don't love themselves unconditionally or because it’s what feels familiar in relationship dynamics, they think that’s all they deserve or how it’s supposed to be.

This is kind of a rhetorical question, but I remember my friends would talk to me about things, where they would be upset or didn't think that somebody would like an aspect or flaw about them because they didn't like it themselves. 

A lot of these tended to be minor flaws or things that could be improved. 

And so something I’ve been asking people since I was a teen is:

If you don't love yourself fully for who you are, how can you expect someone else to love you fully for who you are? 

You must first give yourself that unconditional love. 

That's not to say you won't improve or that you're just perfect and you don't need to change anything, From my observations, it makes you want to be the best version of yourself that you can possibly be.

But it's to stop blaming, shaming, and guilting yourself, because in my experience, no sustainable growth comes from shaming, blaming, or guilting. 

Why? 

Because that automatically creates the feeling of unsafety in our body and nervous system. 

And while people don't always want to admit this, neuroscience proves this that the nervous system will self sabotage. It's designed to keep you safe. 

So if you do not feel safe improving, or certain parts of you do not feel safe to be loved and accepted—more than likely because of external conditioning that you have adopted upon yourself—then you're not going to consistently make that change.

You might jump on board and do things differently for a little while. But eventually, you more than likely find yourself feeling burnt out, relapsing, regressing, those kinds of things. 

And the good news is, you can also change this by granting yourself kindness instead of criticism. Even simple neutrality if kindness is too big of a stretch, because if you don't like something, change it. 

This makes me think of one of my old mottos too, "Be the change you want to see in the world." 

To me, when I was younger, I didn't understand that fully. 

I thought of it as more of this.. “go do good things, run for power and authority, change laws, you know, systemic things like that.” 

But something that I've come to realize as I've gotten older and gone on this personal development journey is that being the change you want to see also means embodying the energy, the behavior that you want to see more of in the world. 

So if you want people to be more empathetic, then you should be more empathetic, even to the people that make it difficult. 

And boy, do some of them make it difficult sometimes. 

Like men feeling obligated to sleep with women as a cover when they really want to sleep with men but society, their friends, or their family, have made them feel unsafe to accept that part of themselves.