I never thought going on a personal development journey would end up making my life worse..

But I like to remind myself that the versions of me I’ve had to let go along the way, are the ones that built the reality I currently live in. So naturally I have to release many pieces of the life she put together.

The once fulfilling job that turned toxic and ended up negatively affecting my health.

The toxic connections built on gossip and disdain for the same people.

Being loyal to a fault for a family because of “blood” no matter the amount of abuse or dysfunctional cycles I endured.

And since social media has taught me to crave instant gratification, there are some days I wish I had never even gone on the journey.

Just kept the draining connections to be able to say I have family and friends, kept the exhausting perfectionist mask on for the stable income, kept performing for love even though that means never being loved genuinely and wholly for me.

But I have to remind myself, that dreamy reality I’ve been working towards and calling in — the one with an impactful, well-paid career, a loving relationship, a safe and peaceful home for myself and my babies?

It’s going to take time for the new version of me to build that too.

It’s not what I want to hear by any means, but one thing is certain—if I don’t keep going, I’ll never get there.

So keep going my love, even if it’s only the teeniest, tiniest of baby steps each day.

xo, Jordan